My Homemade Mother's Day Gift

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Overstating the Obvious

I Was The So-Called Unhealthy Fat Woman At The ...

I never got up to 400 lbs. But I can say, from experience that when you are heavy, it seems to make you fair game for a myriad of folks to come up to you and act as a brute boor. It seems to give people the right to comment on what you eat and scream things at you out their car window as you walk down the street. I could have been this woman, myself.

Fat people bear their daily sins, exposed for the world to see... I am an over-eater. And while it may be more readily evident than being an incredibly insensitive and brutally calloused and litigiously rude sort of brute, it is, nonetheless, indisputable for all to see that you have a conspicuous shortcoming and consequently there are always people who feel an obligation to state the obvious.

"You're fat."

Like you didn't know it... Like somehow, when you went into the store and had to bypass the cute adorable normal sized clothes and waddle into the Wide Sizes, you would be in-cognizant that a size 3X was for the morbidly obese. Like when you had to get down on the floor for any reason, and you hoped, maybe even prayed, that there would be something nearby that would support you without collapsing so you could get back up again, you wouldn't realize that you might be carrying around a bit too much weight. Like when you went to a public place worried that they would have chairs with arms that you couldn't fit your ample backside in or like when you had to squeeze into a seat in an overcrowded airplane and had to ask an irritated stewardess for a seat belt extension.... you would not be aware that somehow, you were not normal.

You know, having struggled with my weight for decades, I can tell you that people treat you much differently when you are heavy. They assume you are stupid. They take one look at you and surmise you are lazy and obviously undisciplined. Consequently, you are overlooked for promotion and held in contempt by those who do not suffer your obvious affliction. I simply (well not simply of course) drop the weight and suddenly, I've become smarter and the bull's eye on my back has disappeared.

Its a hard thing to change. Its a hard thing to face what you are. Its a hard thing to look into that mirror and see what everyone else sees, no matter what your malady. However, until you can face it, you won't change. I don't know what it is that singles out fat people to make others feel an obligation to "set you straight about your weight" because, I still have other issues that people are much more hesitant to point out, but like the person in this article points out, "tough love and humiliation" won't likely bring a change about, any more than posting this article will illicit a heartfelt repentance from the nauseating disgust that a person feels when they encounter someone who is obese.

People can really be unkind. So I'm trying to overcome being unkind. Its my contribution to the betterment of society.