So here’s the thing… We have plenty of leftover chocolates but we keep getting sick when we eat them so it’s probably not a good idea to keep them but how can anyone throw chocolates away?

I do try and share the precious delicacies when I have enough of them available but there are many times when there just isn’t enough for everyone so I save them for another time. 

I suppose its not wise to continue buying those rich russet candies but when I see a particularly lovely confection filled with some delectable creamy fondant or nougat or brimming with a gooey caramel center or a crunchy toffee or buttery nut encased in velvety rich chocolate, I’m gripped by an insatiable desire to procure the luxuriant sweet-treat and bring it back to my house.

As I carry  in the bags of groceries, my husband arrives to help me unload the trunk.  Once the bags are lined up on the counter, he remains nearby to inspect the delicacies that might await his gastronomical pleasure as I dissimulate their contents into their proper storage locations.  Upon seeing the box of sugar-laden, chemical ridden, calorie burdened blobs of fat, my husband’s eyes narrow.  “Why would you buy that stuff to bring  home here?  You know that’s not healthy.  You shouldn’t eat that junk!”

Without comment, I open the package where lies those delectable pieces of paradise and the scent wafts from the opened container and perfumes the air with the seductive aroma of cocoa and vanilla and sugar and the sweet fragrance even draws the attention of my husband who stands up to peer into the box.  “What’s that one right there?” he says as he nudges it with the tip of his finger.

“It’s a Pecan Caramel Cluster.”

“What’s that one?” again nudging it with his finger tip.

“That’s a milk chocolate toffee crunch.”

Our eyes meet as he carefully lifts the delightful treat from its corrugated cup and pops it in his mouth in one large bite.  I smile.  He tries to return a scowl but the flavor washes over his palate and his eyes close as his senses experience the sensation.  No exchange takes place.

I breathe in the mouthwatering warm aroma of the various chocolates.  Just the scent is almost enough to satisfy me and as I come back to consciousness, I catch my husband pop a chocolate covered macadamia in his mouth.  Eventually he swallows and casts a judgmental eye towards me eat as I savor a dark chocolate caramel truffle.  I smile stickily as I cover the box for a future indulgence. 

I already feel a tickle at the back of my throat… 

But life without chocolates? 

I don’t even see that as a possibility.

What a surprise

So I'm continuing to lose weight... And I figured out that I was getting so hungry because I wasn't holding the drops under my tongue long enough and that I wasn't always waiting that 15 minutes before eating when I took them.  So since I've corrected that faux pas  I'm doing much better.  
I didn't feel like I looked any different but I discovered last night that I've changed more than I thought.  My clothes were fitting different but I saw no difference in my personal appearance... but I knew going in that I wouldn't see a lot at first.  I was expecting that.  But comparing the picture I took last night with the one I had taken 3 1/2 weeks ago, I  

was pretty surprised at the difference in just such a short period of time.  Well... I'm still fat but at least it's going in a better direction.  
I did my first screw up today.  I measured my meat at 3.5 oz but it was cooked meat, not raw.  I felt so stuffed.  Then I realized what I had done.  
I'll try and see if I can make it up with dinner as I can't afford to not be losing.  They are having a biggest loser contest at work right now  and right after they announced at work that that they were upping the stakes for the biggest loser contest, I eat an extra ounce of meat.  They are finally going to start giving away prizes like time off work... I wasn't particularly interested in any of their prizes before that.  
I have won the weekly contest twice so far and would rather have gotten the T-shirt that says, "I won the biggest loser contest at work this week and all I got was this stupid T-shirt."  At least that would be funny.  But instead I got 15 minutes off the phone with my boss taking my calls, sitting at my desk, snooping through my stuff while I stand out in the hallway with nothing to do but wonder what she's getting into and waiting for my time to be up so I can go back.  I had tried to plan it for later in the day so I could have a "hall pass" in case I needed an extra potty break but she came over about 15 minutes after break saying she had a meeting and had to do it then, right then, so I couldn't even get rid of the free cell game I had just opened up.  
So for 15 minutes, I stand in the hallway with nothing to do.  It was reminiscent of one of the stupid games we played in grade school where you stood outside the class room while they all hid the item or planned the questions they were going to ask you in front of the whole class and you were wishing it wasn't your turn because you just knew it was going to go badly.  Who knows what she saw or found while she sat there with no phone calls and nothing to do but rummage through my stuff at my desk, and on my computer-- coming over unannounced to reward me for all my efforts of losing the most weight. What kind of idiot wants to win a prize like that?  I guess it was better than the free at your desk ingrown toenail removal.  I was really glad I didn't win that week.

2 Weeks & 18 lbs later

So.  It's been a while since I've been  back at my diary.  Up until today, I would have said I was doing fairly well. 
Okay well there was the one indecent with Charter over my week long lack of internet where I told the customer service rep that I didn't want to speak to her any longer and to get me someone else on the line... and then I told the supervisor when he asked if he could help me any further, that he hadn't helped me yet and hung up the phone, came upstairs and threw such a fit the dog wouldn't come near me for 2 days.  I've got to hand it to those folks at Charter, if I would have been them, dealing with me, I would have looked for a way to make my whole account disappear.  
My defense is low blood sugar... because its an excellent excuse that can be used over and over.  Although, today, I'm starting to lean toward possible menopause.
But since then, I've had it all under control.  I didn't really get to do anything much for Mother's day.  My sister and I had gone in on a Kindle to surprise my mom, who is presently re-cooping from surgery in an assisted living home.  So I thought it would be great because the type size goes up to about 3/4 of an inch.  I spent all Saturday Night & Sunday morning getting it ready for her, added on a couple of games, 3 novels.  I thought she'd really love it.  
The family all went on a Mother's Day Picnic at the Winery but I declined to attend.  my excuse was that my mom is in a nursing home and I wanted to spend the day with her.  Steve told everyone it was because I was dieting.  
Bless his heart.
So I got the Kindle all wrapped up and headed off to visit the Grandmother..  
She took one look at it, made a face.  Turned her head sideways like she was doing her level best to see it and handed it back to me.  
"Can you get your money back?"
"Don't you like it?"
"No, not really."
"Look, mom, I can make the print larger.  See?"
"Now Dammit Judi, I told you, I thought I made it abundantly clear, I don't want anymore of those damn electronic gadgets.  I can't see those tiny little buttons.  Can you get your money back or not?"
"Well, I guess.  I'll probably just keep it, then.  I wanted one anyway."  
"Oh my ---, how much was it?"
"MOM!!"
"Now don't you start that stuff with me.  How much was it Dammit!"
So today, I get a check in the mail from her paying me for the Kindle.  My Mother's day present from her to me.  
She really liked the package of safety pins my sister sent from her dogs.  
My dog didn't get her anything.  
My oldest son took his wife and their two kids over to visit her later that evening when they all returned from their day of engorging, imbibing and jocularity  They stopped and got her some lovely red roses and a nice card.  They walked into her room and she took one look at them, "Now, dammit, it was really nice of you kids to come by here and visit me but this is no place for children and you need to take those kids and get them out of here and no, don't set those flowers down there, they'll get knocked over.  Take those over to  your mother and okay, yes thanks for coming, goodbye."
Is it any wonder I have issues?  
In her defense, she is worried one of the babies will catch SARS or whatever else might be floating around there but, as long as they'd already come in... I'm glad my daughter in law is as sweet and nonchalant as she is.
So I've been plugging along on the diet and doing pretty well.  I have been losing pretty steady... but when I got home today from work I had this overwhelming desire to cheat.  So I went up to my room --as far from the food as I could get.  Of course when Steve got home, he reminded me it was time for his dinner.  So I went down to make something to eat and he's just chatting away and this violent urge comes back.  I'm trying to just put the dishes away and I can't hardly bear to hear him talking.  
Finally I turn around, and tell him, I can't do this.  
He looks surprised?  Can't do what?  
I can't do this diet anymore and I can't make your dinner.  
He let all of 5 minutes pass before he comes up and says,  just come down and make us something.
Well then, if its that easy, you do it. 
You're being ridiculous. It's easy enough, half the food is already made.
Yes, I know that but I can't seem to get it together... and I'm not coming back down until I can.  
Finally, about 9:00, the panic passes and I came down and made the salad dressing I was trying to make when I fled upstairs, and fixed my meager meal.  
I'm all better now.  
4 more weeks.  
I hope there's no bloodshed.