Rudy

Rudy
My Homemade Mother's Day Gift

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Phase Two Re-Deaux

I started my diet right after Jenny left town.  It seemed like a good idea.  I was already about as depressed as I ever get, so I figured one more reason to feel down in the mouth wouldn’t really make me feel any worse.  Plus, I’d managed to put on almost 10 lbs since last session ended in March. 

Actually, I didn’t think that was too bad until I spent almost three weeks trying to take it back off AGAIN.  So instead of making some real progress this time, I think I’m going to fall in-between sizes and end up looking pretty frumpy in my "sort of too big" clothes… well, frumpier than I would have looked if I’d started off 10 lbs. lighter and managed to get into a size 14.

You know, one thing I’ve found, diet type snack food is
a.     Expensive   
b.    Time consuming to prepare. 
c.   Considerably less accessible 

I’m going to have to work on  a solution to this before next summer.  I’ve actually managed to find things that I really like as lower carb/calorie alternatives to the richer, calorie laden, carb burdened usual fare.  Still and all, the “Popchips and Genisoy chips, as tasty an alternative as they are, are costly, too costly to provide as a snack for 6 kids and all the accompanying adults, compared to buttered popcorn or a bag of Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips… and well, a bag of opened potato chips needn’t worry about getting stale at my house.   Actually my daughter promised to make me homemade soft pretzels and I was going to drown them in cheese sauce… but she spared me the extra 5 or so lbs. by not making them. 

That was a good thing, right?

So… given the slower start, I started exercising in hopes to speed things along. It’s really a pathetic little 25 minute DVD that is low impact, and probably low effect as well, but at the end of it I’m huffing and puffing and I’m clapping with Debbie Sievers, congratulating myself for doing such a good job… Even though she tells me "good job" at the end of every session, so far, it never seems cheesy or over done.   

Unfortunately, instead of speeding up the weight loss, the reverse is occurring It appears the exercise seems to have slowed down the reduction process.  I know that my state of health is intricately more important than the numbers on the scale… and not really having moved anything about much for the last ten or so years, I know that at my age, I’m at risk for osteoporosis and high blood pressure, heart problems… etc.   So, after a couple of minor set backs, I’ve determined to stick with the program and suck it up with regard to the static scale.  At least I’m finally below where the cut off line is for Obese.  Now I just simply “overweight.”  Is it suitable to celebrate being “overweight?”  Everything is relative.

When Jenny’s kids were here, I was getting dressed and forgot to lock the door.  The children are not deterred by that.  They don’t knock.  They bust in and there you are in whatever state you’re in, and the only thing left to do is try and minimize the damage by closing the door behind them before the entire population of the house suffers exposure to your wrinkled birthday suit.  Dillon threw the door open as I had pulled up my underwear.  I reached over his smiling face and closed the door.  I’ve gotten more used to the humiliation of being surveyed by the little guys in a little less than optimum attire, but I always wish I’d locked the door.  “Yaya,” he says, surmising the obvious.  “You have a big fat butt.  Why, do you have a big fat butt?” 

I stood there and stared down at the little darling a moment.  For 2 plus years, I’ve been working on trying to rectify that… but here I am, over 2 years later, and I still have a “big fat butt.”  It's not as big or as fat, but I figured that wouldn't really impress him.  So I told him that Yaya ate too many cookies.  I find in these sorts of situations, its best to take the lumps and progress as fast as possible to the next subject... "Would you like Yaya to get you a cookie?"

Yesterday, I was doing my exercise program and the reverse crunches with my haunches up in the air in front of my mirrored closet and caught a look of my back end in the mirror.  And I heard Dillon standing there asking me why? “Why do you have a big fat butt?”  I got to laughing so hard I pretty much blew the last 5 minutes of the program.

I guess we all need a little Dillon to ask us, without guile, why is your butt so big… so when we’re struggling through a miserable workout, we can laugh through the end of it and be inspired to try and rectify that before next summer. 

I’m hoping the big fat butt won't really be an issue next year so, before he comes back and busts in on me next summer, I'm going to work on an answer as to why it is that I’m so wrinkled.